


Why Can't This (Be Killing You?)

by ngm



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Angst, Batjokes, Batman/Joker - Freeform, BatmanxJoker - Freeform, Blood Lust, JokerxBatman, Lego batjokes, M/M, Mild Fluff, Obsession, Slow Burn, Tsundere Bruce, Vampire AU, blowing kisses grade fluff, bruce is a halfling, coming to terms with desire, joker is vampire, joker/batman - Freeform, okay kinda fluffy, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 10:24:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10488753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ngm/pseuds/ngm
Summary: Sooo... wrote another short one-shot following two of the more recent Batjokes Vampire AU comics that @bernieloverstuff/@gayforbatjokes produced today.This is directly following these two gem -https://gayforbatjokes.tumblr.com/image/158929507973https://gayforbatjokes.tumblr.com/image/158932100808So, look at the pictures then read, as they speak for themselves. ;^)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bernieloverstuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bernieloverstuff/gifts).



> Have the song I pined over this to 
> 
> Goldfrapp - Lovely Head https://youtu.be/dxfJ86zDHP4 
> 
> It starts in my belly  
> Then up to my heart  
> Into my mouth  
> I can't keep it shut  
> Do you recognize the smell  
> Is that how you tell  
> Us apart  
> I fool myself  
> To sleep and dream  
> Nobody's here  
> No one but me  
> So cool  
> You're hardly there  
> Why can't this be killing you  
> Frankenstein would want your mind  
> Your lovely head  
> Your lovely head

  
The Joker watched as his Batman whirled away from him and for the first time in their terse interactions, he smiled a truly, pure, happy, genuine smile.

 _Suuuure_ , he wanted the Bat. Very much so. There were all of the factors to consider.

  
He was a beast.

A handsome beast.

He was strong and he was stubborn.

He was a challenge and truth be told, the Joker liked a good challenge...

And yes, he was going to get under that cowl sometime soon...

 _But..._  

  
The clown tipped his head as his Batman fired his grapnel gun and took off into the remaining night.

  
The moody, ' _you're just using me for such and such'_ was getting a little grating.

 _Sure_ , it was easy to toy with Batsy, to wind him up and watch him fall apart... But it wasn't like the damn Bat didn't make it so rewarding.

It was like, his Bat got off on torturing himself, _HELL_ , if he wanted to be _tortured_ , J had a whole room of stuff like that at one of the other houses... But... No, this was something else.

His boy was resisting, yielding just that little bit before remembering that was just doing this 'out of circumstance' ... But watching that precious crimson slide down his neck and shoulder made the clown nearly deaf to the rest of Batman's pouting.

There was want... and then there was need. And whether his Batman knew it, the need was in his blood.

The Joker sighed, holding his elbow in one hand while touching his still tingling lips with his fingers and gazing out the window. He walked over and leaned out, sucking in a deep, unnecessary breath. He held his chin in his hand as he lounged against the frame, not REALLY looking for Batman but maybe hoping that he'd stuck around.

Besides, if he wanted to, the Joker could get a little salty about obviously being used... but it felt kind of nice to be irresistible to someone... It had been so long he'd forgotten what it felt like to be overwhelming to another creature...

Also, what kind of man _made out,_   out of circumstance? Did his Batsy not realize how funny he actually was? That his nobility was impressive, but this self-flagellation immediately afterward was to the benefit of naught?

De Nile was not just a river in Egypt, it seemed to be a lifestyle for his beloved.

 _His Beloved_.

That sounded just... _perfect_ , didn't it? His mate. His partner. His _lover._

Oooh, they were already pretty close to _THAT_... but, like getting under Bats' mask, it wasn't about getting inside of _THERE,_ so to speak, but up quite a bit higher.

 _No no_... he was already in his Bat Brain's _head_... He needed to secure him right in the old chest cavity, right above the diaphragm, just to the left, a tiny bit, of the sternum.

Deep in the heart of him.

And truth be told... the Joker was fairly certain that he was there... or was relatively close. It wasn't as if he was as blind as the Bat was...

It wasn't as if he couldn't feel the energy from him, hear and feel how quickly and ragged his breath came. That cowl was impressive but it did shit to hide the flush of his skin, the dark color of blood in his cheeks. How he clutched and clung... OH, his Batman wanted him, hell, he needed him! He saw the EVIDENCE of that, today!!!

The Joker interrupted his own mental ramblings, head tipped to the side.

How many times was his Batsy's neck weeping blood for him? Oh GOD!!! The thought was _THRILLING_! It made him get almost instantly hard-- but "Not **NOW**!" He barked down at his dick, eyes widening for a fraction. _Jeez, what a pervert... Guy had a mind of his own..._

But, seeing that wound open for him, it was enough to let him sigh out the tiny bit of creeping distress that came with his Bat pushing him away, every single day. It was relieving to know that, despite all of the peripheral desires, he was right.

They were meant to be.

They were destined.

He was fucking _**RIGHT**_ and it was only a matter of time, now wasn't it.

The Joker grinned, patting his prick through his slacks in apology and paused to blow a kiss out of the window before he sauntered out of the neglected, white, undefiled bedroom.

-=-

Bruce's eyes narrowed as he watched the Joker blow that kiss, feeling his abdomen tense as the show-offy vampire whirled away from the window.

He knew that kiss was for him and he growled out a low noise as his eyes shut for a moment.

Damn him.

Damn him so... _hard_.

He palmed at the bite beneath his suit and cape and bit his bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut.

Fuck... how... Embarrassing.

He didn't know a damn thing about... what the hell was happening to his neck and it was infuriating. He was the _Goddamn_ **BATMAN** and he was being felled by inconsistencies on the internet and general lack of information. What he _was_ able to acquire on this new clan was little and littered with nonsense, theory, and fantasy. _Lots_ of fantasy. The only bits he **could** verify were from personal experience, but... beyond all of that, there were few things he could suss for sure and the fact that his first mark was bleeding at its own discretion was at the very least troubling.

He'd woken up for the past several days with it seeping against his pillow... Initially, he was shocked to wake up in a warm pool of his own blood and the first time he figured it was part of this healing process...

Perhaps, the longer he stayed away, the more it would... _hell_ , he didn't know. It didn't appear that the tactic was working either. He'd ignored it but after the fifth day in a row and the edge of fatigue that followed; Bruce had returned to troll his sources again for an answer-- and got none.

He was still consuming blood at his normal rate but with the pint or so he was weeping out, coupled with his disgruntled father figure now showing more concern for his halfling ward than how many pillowcases had been ruined, he had to come up with a solution. His neck wouldn't bleed all day... but when he woke, it was coursing down his shoulder.

And tonight, after his... _session_ with the Joker, after he was commanded to look into those eyes, to let himself be looked right back into, there was **more** blood. If the older vampire had bitten him, surely, he would have noticed, but only their mouths had touched... _Hnngh_... Batman pressed harder into his throbbing neck. Fuck. Fuck. **FUCK**!!!

He could have given in tonight... He could have let the Joker do whatever the hell he'd wanted...

Bruce... _WANTED_ to let go, to let the older vampire show him ALL of the things... but his pride was strong and his frustration at feeling like... like... 

He wasn't _special_. Like he was just... he could be _anybody_ and it was overwhelming.

_That was it._

Batman whirled away from the view of that safe house, growing at himself as he slammed one fist down on the stone cornice of the roof, some of the architecture crumbling beneath his hand.

This was all so confusing and frustrating and he... he wanted it, okay? That was something the couldn't deny himself any longer. He would give all of his worldly possessions to be worshiped by the older vampire... To be the center of somebody's world.

Not somebody, _his_.

The wound on his throat throbbed again and the halfling went down to one knee, pressing his forehead into the arm that was holding onto the crumbled molding.

But... he couldn't let himself forget that the Joker was a master manipulator of at least a century and he was what? A half-human, half-vampire abomination that had no clan, no family and one singular human entity that had appointed himself as his guardian.

Why was he so special?

Apathy was the best policy, wasn't it?

And that was the route he was taking.

However... there was a fraction of shame with each of their encounters, guilty of the same thing he was accusing the Joker of. Sure, their feeding off of one another had started as a deal, a give and take... but they had mutated into something much more intimate...

The Batman swallowed, getting to his feet and attempting to square his shoulders as he achieved his full height.

He should have tonight. He should have taken whatever he could from the Joker... Shaking his head, he unholstered his grapnel gun again and took a deep breath.

Not until he was sure.

 _Unequivocally_ sure.

With a glance over his shoulder at the safe house, the foolish Batman lifted his bloody fingers to his lips and blew a two-fingered kiss back before disappearing deeper into the darkness of night.


End file.
